Variables

It's a two-fer kind of day! Not one post, but two (I'll make up for slacking last week!).

Earlier I posted on how we can allow experiences to create roadblocks to our growth and, as I was writing, I came to realize that this is something that we all do. We all have allowed those experiences to instill insecurities within us, and we have given great worth to certain areas because of that.

But the problem is that, when our self-worth is based on certain issues (be it family, work, success, finances, etc) then, when those areas start to tank, so does our self-worth.

In my dealing with people, I have come to believe in a theory: We all have issues and the only difference between my issues and your issues is in the details. Because I'm a logical, mathematic thinker, I think of it like this: p+e=i. Where p is who we naturally are. Our natural person, if you will. Psychologists would use the term nature for this. Who we are naturally dictates how we respond to our experiences (e). And, when I combine who I am with what I've experienced, I get my issue, i.

I know that counselling is not about formulas and variables but that's why I didn't become a counsellor. But this helps me because what it boils down to is that I can relate to your issue simply because it's only a matter of plugging in different variables into the equation. You can relate to my issue, even though you've never experienced what I've experienced, because you can plug my variables into the equation and come out with the issue.

The overarching issues aren't much different: most stem from insecurities, wounded ego or pride and issues of self-worth. But the way it plays out in our lives looks different because the variables are different.